the 'silver' lining on the dark cloud

We've heard this line many times as children, but today, when I'm on the threshold of going out into the corporate world as a grown man, this quote has become metaphorically so much more significant to me..

Last Saturday was my graduation day. The entire batch of some 500 odd MBA's from NMIMS University were to be conferred their degrees. The day before that, on Friday, we had the mock rehearsals for the entire session. That was followed by a Photo Session with our graduation gowns and caps. Then there was a ring ceremony. Somewhere in the middle of all of this, Seema ma'am called me aside and asked if I was bringing my parents for the function the next day. I told them they are already in college and will even be attending the ring ceremony. She said that's good because there was a 'little surprise' in store for me. Apart from getting the degree certificate, the only other thing lined up for the day were awards given to meritorious students and faculty. 

I knew that the previous year, the three Presidents of that time, Vikas, Sujay and Chandan, received a Silver medal for their contributions to Student Activities. Being the President, I could assume that this time I would receive the same award. But I wasn't very sure, because we had interviews held for these awards, and my interview went terribly awry. The Dean in charge was so unsatisfied that he said thank you and asked me to leave even before I could talk for more than 2 minutes. It was the shortest interview I had. Either it has already been fixed and they didn't want to waste their time on me, or as the more rational and less arrogant thought would be, they were totally unimpressed with me. 

I felt really bad that my interview didn't go that well and tried consoling myself that not every day is a Sunday and I've had a pretty good run of luck with interviews the last few times. Maybe I was on a lower curve now! 

Anyway, it wasn't the interview alone that had bothered me. I also knew that there were a lot of issues this year. From Parampara, which was the first ever thing the Council organized in college, I've been getting on the wrong side of our Vice-Chancellor. We had decided a particular date for Parampara and somehow the VC got another date and he ended up getting wild with me because he had made other plans for the day we decided to have the event and he couldn't be there for the same. This was just the start of the troubles. The rest of the year, there were issues with Placements, Paragana and the whole Sectoral garb. From yelling at me for a small incident regarding selection of Food items for Paragana to completely blowing his top at me when the students decided to walk out on a dinner that he had personally organized for them to ease the Core-Sectoral issues, there were issues aplenty the whole year through. It was almost as if every time the VC would calm down on one issue, I would raise a hornets nest on another one, giving rise to another set of altercations between us. It became so bad, that I started fading off into a distance and not coming out and organizing too many things for fear of going wrong somewhere again. I completely slacked off during the end of the year and did not do a lot of things that I was supposed to get done. 

Of course, having the VC get mad at me was not the only reason why I became inactive towards the end. There were many other reasons as well. Things like having to deal with someone called Professor Rane who was instated as the person responsible for student activities and he ended up eating my head about absolutely inane things. I kept putting up with him because the show had to go on and nobody else in the Council wanted to approach him for anything. I somehow kept dealing with him, until one particular time he insulted me for the lack of effort I had put into the CNBC deal during Paragana. This completely broke me, almost to the point of tears welling in my eyes that had actually dried up many years back. I was the only one who worked on the CNBC deal. I was assisted immensely by all my fellow Council members, but I received absolutely no senior\professional help from anyone in the college, inspite of the deal running into so many Lakhs of Rupees. I still dealt with the whole thing myself and at the end of it, had to hear things from Prof Rane that I was incompetent with the deal.. The worse part of it was, because of all the situations in college, I even ended up looking like a criminal in front of a huge Corporate like CNBC. This is the worst thing any regular aspiring-for-a-good-professional-life MBA like me could do!

Anyway, the VC getting mad at me on one too many occasions, having to deal with a character like Prof Rane, and also having a bunch of extremely capable juniors who very quickly learnt how to run the show on their own, all made me start slacking off towards the end. 

I can very easily assess if I've done a good job about something or not, and I knew very well that towards the end of the year, I did not hold up my duties as President as well as I would have probably wanted to. This reason, combined with my disastrous interview was what convinced me that I may not win any award this year. 

I anyway stopped thinking about it because I always felt that I had received so much during my stint as President in terms of learning about life and meeting some great people, that that itself was enough, and I could do without a medal.

During the ring ceremony on Friday evening, I was asked to come and deliver a speech about my musings of the last 2 years in college. I started talking about a lot of things and concluded thanking only one person, the VC. I could have thanked a whole bunch of them, but the last time I had done that, during Razzy's of Euphoria, I really ran into a lot of trouble for having missed out a few names. So I really did not want to get into that situation and just thanked only one single person with whom I felt I really had to set a whole bunch of things straight. So I said "Exactly one year ago, during the Ring ceremony of the previous batch, a bunch of us students were huddled into the MDP room and conferred our new positions in the Council. That was the time I was declared President and it was the beginning of my interactions with this one person with whom I've always felt I've shared a love-hate relationship. It was more like I loved him and he used to hate me for all the times I have irritated him. I'm talking about our dear Vice-Chancellor who has been such a good role model and a support for all of us during one of the toughest times of NMIMS when we saw sea changes in terms of Placements and dealing with new Sectoral courses. Thank you so much Sir for everything in the last one year". 

Then came Saturday, the big day. All the students walked into the hall led by the Council which was in turn led by me and after we took our seats, the show began. We all went and received our certificates and then came the time for the awards. People around started saying 'best of luck' and stuff to me, but as explained earlier, I wasn't sure at all about it. Pretty soon the student awards got over and the faculty awards began. Suddenly it dawned on me that there was no award for me.. Alok had just received the award for 'Contribution to Student Activities' and I felt this was the surprise Seema ma'am was talking about. Also, during the VC speech, he never made a mention of Paragana or any other Council organized events in the year. So basically this was it. I did feel quite bad that I couldn't emulate what our seniors had done and only had myself to blame for the slacking off that I had done and for the poor interview I had given. 

I was just preparing to face all the students around, my family and even Sujay who had turned up there to justify why I hadn't won anything, when the VC declared that the faculty awards were over and said "Now there is a final award that is to be given to a student. One who has done so much for college and even told in his speech yesterday how we are all doing our best to cope with the changes going on at NMIMS. I call upon Sandeep John Mathew for the Silver medal for best All round performance for 2007-2008"

....

It was then that I realized that slow motion was not restricted to movies alone.. it happens in real life too! I adjusted my robe and cap that had come off quite some time back and walked slowly to the stage. Watched all the students standing and clapping as I walked down the aisle. Went up on stage and collected the certificate and had the medal worn around my neck. When I turned to face the audience, I realized I had my first standing ovation! It was heart warming, and supremely shocking as I had quite given up on it. As I walked back to my seat, I first went up to my parents and gave them the medal. Then after I came and settled down, the announcement for the National Anthem was made. It was during this time that I really felt like hugging someone, and it had to be Pooja. I messaged her as soon as the Anthem concluded when people were preparing to throw off their hats, and during the pandemonium that ensued with the hat throwing, I went up to her and got a long tight hug from probably my best friend at NM and one of the few people in Bombay who truly knew and understood all the things I had gone through here. It felt so comforting. I swear, if not for those dried up tear glands, I'd be crying like a baby at that time. 

The next half hour passed with hugging all my other fellow MBA's and introducing my parents to some of the students and teachers who were around, and somewhere in the middle of all that, I ran into Seema ma'am once again who I looked and said "that was the 'little' surprise???" 

"of course dear" she said and gave me the second best hug of the evening.

After all the pleasantries were exchanged and some issues sorted with some people who still came to me for assistance on different things, I walked towards my den, my second home, the Student Council Room, hugging a little red box with my silver medal and I looked up at the sky and thought.. So there is a silver lining on every dark cloud!